Friendship

A friendship does not work on insults, when all you show is insult and ask why i barely reply, i dont understand why you dont understand the reason people stop talking.

I know it also requires bothe sides to be open forna true friendship to occour but the reasone that my side is never open is becausevall it is, is saddness, nothing more nothing less. all my happiness has been given out, all i want is for people around me to be happy even if it means i must leave for that to happen.

Lonely

Even though there may have people who care i do not feel i can tell one single person exactly how i feel, not because i don't trust them, its just difficult for me to express what i have to say, everyone has their own problems, even the ones that say they will listen, there is no way i can let anyone know how i feel in person, because i do not know what i will say... Things that i say will affect the way people see me, even though it doesn't matter, it is a sign of weakness that is a part of me but not a common part of me.

The recent theme of photographs i have taken show how i feel, because i cannot express it through other ways, also this sickness has taken its toll on how i react to things that happen through everyday life...

I am sorry.

Shhhhh.

Payments

When going out with friends and family I always expect to pay for your own plus others because even if they pay for their own share, cause whenever i go to pay they always ask "Do you want to pay together?", and with the moments pause i just say sure yeah, then payments are made, i don't mind but what else am I meant to say? "No i just want to pay for my own share...", then the awkwardness would just go off the charts...


So the custom on going out too eat is to fight for the cheque/bill/etc. in my family even though no one wants to pay, but to me it doesn't really matter as long as everyone is happy...