After effect 2

Day 2 and i for some particular reason have felt sad all day today even thought this event has happened a few days ago the effects have only started to kick in, that is what i belive if i have only met this person for 5 seconds maybe even less what will i do if i knew this person alot longer.... these feelings i have not felt for a long time, the fear of dark, the fear of strange noises when i cannot see what is around the corner afraid of what will jump out at me.

While we were having dinner like our usual arguments once the word death was mentioned i felt sickened in the stomach and wondered about why he would say that....

Is this the effect of that one person performing one action at a certain spot that has effected me or am i just worried like i am most of the time.....

The first sleep....

The first sleep after the eventful day of seeing someone jump off a cliff so effortlessly like she had done it over and over again, this memory has been captured by the sounds that i heard at that moment, the silence of the wind and the waves crashing along the walls of the clifff as i hear the little clap of a noise as the body hits the unforgiving water lined with the jagged rocks carved by the wind and the tides over many years to serve as the killing blow... my whole night was sleepless from the taunts of the ocean sound.

This brings me to realise people can be very stupid because of something so little, so insignificant to what the rest of their life could have been like, again i urge all people to think twice befor they do somthing that could change the course of life because if you go forward and find that path is wrong it will be a very hard road to get back on.

My bad luck consists of bad housemates that rent a room, friends/family going to  hospital then on the day of the suicide the sky told us something bad was going to happen becuase birds stole our food rain poured as we ate then when we got to watsons bay a foolish girl took her own life, after we got home the fish tank was cracked and water was all over the place, i just hope that my badluck ends here.............

The way i am feeling

One of the topics that i have wanted to write about for a long time but never actually got to it... the music i choose is the mood i am in but i belive only 2 people that i know, know why i choose the type of music i listen to...



To truly find out how i feel you must learn to understand me, and to do that is to find out what music i am listening to every song that i listen to retains a memory that i will never forget it is also acompanied bt a feeling. But the story behind the song is not always the same as what the words are in the song it could be the melody of the song or it can have no relation.

Disgust

My disgust for all the people who run away from other people when they are angry, when they dont run away and leave you alone when you are angry....................... When most people get angry they are most likely rite next to the line of doing what they say they would do so leaving someone alone is a very very bad idea if you dont want something bad to happen....

Realisation

Through the events that have happened today seeing someone take their own life, has given me alot more thought in what could cause someone to do such a thing me witnessing it myself someone jumping off a cliff, what if she regreted what she did after she jumped off.... when she jumped off it seemed like she had done this all the time. althought i may have been a few meters away it seemed like i was right next to her knowing i could have stopped such a thing happening but i was so shocked i did nothing. My reaction to this whole jumping thing was so blank is this a sign of shock, but if it was shock i would have gotten over it. I for some reason felt no pity at all for that person only what her family would do when they found out such a thing has happened to their daughter.... I dont see how someone could make this choice just because of one person... its not worth it...