Cold hard truth.

When people say they are here for you, never believe them... because they are all lies, no one is ever out there for you. Everyone that is out in the world is there to look out for themselves, and only them. I believe if there was choice to choose their own lives against another everyone would choose themselves.

This world has no more sense of community, sure they will throw in a question of how you are doing. But they don’t really care, they only want to do it to show the world that they are a caring society... but truthfully no one is. No matter how rich or poor. Only time you will see someone sacrifice themselves for another will be in a movie. 

Yours truly,
Nyxr.

Yes this is a hate crime post for all those liars.

Good dream

As i was just getting use to being alone, when that happened, my dream throws someone i have never met before, but seemed like i knew that she just wanted to be with someone like me (never gonna happen), but why now you throw a person into my dreams that i have a great time with and then wake me up?

Didn't i just want to be solitary?

It was just the fact that she knew how to read what i was thinking, no matter what. but i guess that's the beauty of a dream, technically i know exactly what i want inside.

Just a little note

Every goodbye i say, inside i scream don't go.
Every push i give, inside there is a tug to pull back.
Every, I’m ok, inside I’m grasping to stay strong.
Every smile, i wish people would see my tears.
When they say there will be someone, it's hard believe it.

Bliss

/blis/
Noun

• Perfect happiness; great joy.

• Something providing such happiness.

Above is the Google definition of bliss. But my definition is not something i can easily put in words because it is a situation...

In the dead of a summers night with tall grass with a constant gentle breeze slightly pushing on the grass, just enough for a soft hiss. As i lay in the grass i look up to the spectacular display of the night sky where the only light in the sky are the stars illuminating the sky in harmony with the moonlight.

As i lay all my troubles just disappear as i admire the night sky...

Christmas time

Its that time of year, where families get together and forget all their troubles and just have a good time, in the norther hemisphere its to get everyone they love and care about in one place in the mid of a miserable frosty winter.

So it should be like that, but that tradition seems to have wandered off and doesn't know when to return at the same time of year, this year i feel like Christmas has just skipped this year and doesn't plan to return anytime soon.

Missing...

There seems to be something missing, but I can't seem to fill that void, because nothing wants to plug this hole.

On Christmas Eve I went out with a friend to her family BBQ, when we walked out onto the beach I realised how much I missed the ocean... All I could think and do was to take in the moment. Sea breeze, crashing waves, dark night sky with holes in the dark fabric of night allowing light to shine through. At the same time there was someone that I felt I needed to take care of. Even though it may not have been my place to do it because all I am is a friend.

This friend said I was a good person, as if there would be no one else that would sit on the beach with another friend, just to be free of all worries at that moment in time. So am i really a "good person"? if it is true then why doesn't it show, all it has provided me with is a lifetime supply of anti-happiness.

Some days i just want to be all alone, then i wont have to look for people to support me, and having to wonder if the people i tell even want to deal with the issues i have, I only listen because i don't want anyone to feel like there is no one there to help, but it seems this role has expired and no one requires my presence.

So i take my leave in trying to help... if you want it get it somewhere else please. I no longer understand how and why people make the choices they make.